Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Little CJ's blogger award

Carolyn Crane: Hey Crazy Little CJ! We haven't seen you in a while. Where've you been?

Crazy Little CJ: Cut the small talk Carolyn Jean. Oh, excuse me, I forgot - Carolyn Crane. So, you know what I hate?

Carolyn: My goodness, somebody is in a surly mood.

Little CJ: Well I've only been stuck hanging on your wall for three decades.

Carolyn: Okay, what do you hate?

Little CJ: Blogger awards.

Carolyn: What?!?! How can you say that? It's really sweet when people give out Blogger awards. It's like a recognition of something that can so often go unrecognized.

Little CJ: Take your head out of your ass, Carolyn. If it was a real award, it would have a little something called a PRIZE that goes with it. Instead, it has a chore. Like, hey here's a digital picture made by some freak I don't know who probably lives in their parent's basement and has nothing better to do than make awards. Woo-hoo! Now go ahead and copy it off my blog do a post about it and bug some people with it. And if they don't happen to read your blog every day - there's a shocker - then you have to email them.

Carolyn: Little CJ, I am so disappointed in you. Yes, it carries an obligation, but it's more in the spirit of paying it forward.

Little CJ: Uh, actually, Carolyn Crane, I believe that's known as spirit of a chain letter. You'll have bad luck if you don't pass it on, or like, the person who gave you this will think you are a jackass who thinks they're too good for awards.

Carolyn: Not at all! Blog awards create an occasion to formally admire other people's blogs. Blogs are an unpaid labor of love and it feels good to get blog awards. They say, Hey, I like your blog, now you go and share the love.

When I do those awards, I like to look at the blogs I'm visiting a lot lately and really think about why I enjoy them, and then I say so.

Little CJ: What about the two Dardos conspiracy posts? What? Was that a fugue state?

Carolyn: That was just silly fun. I have nothing against awards.

Little CJ: Good, because I have a blog award for you.

Carolyn: You do?

Little CJ: Yeah, I put it on your sidebar. What do you think? Who are you going to award it to? You have to award it to one person.

Carolyn: Oh! Little CJ! That's an awful award! I don't think I like that award at all! And I'm not going to give it away.

Little CJ: Okay, well, I have to go.

Carolyn: Where are you going?

Little CJ: I have some crafting to do.

Carolyn: Hold on! Okay, what are the rules?

Little CJ: Are you dense? You have to award it to two people or I will make a voodoo doll of you and stick pins in it. Was that not clear? And if those two people do not award it to two other people, I will make voodoo dolls of them, and stick pins in them.

Carolyn: Okay, I award it to Lisabea of Nose In a Book and Ana at Book Smugglers.

Little CJ: Now, was that so hard? Lisabea of Nose in a Book and Ana at Book Smugglers. They sound like a nice people. I will have to visit their blogs soon.

Carolyn: *silently contemplates redecorating her office*

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

What Do Women Want? Carolyn Jean & Little CJ discuss the NYT article

So did anybody see the New York Times Sunday Magazine article, What Do Women Want? I would suggest checking it out--very fascinating, all about women and desire, and figuring out what turns women on and why.

Little CJ: Oh yeah? Did they figure out why cartoon porn movies where hentai elfs are tied up by robbers and ravished are so hot?

Carolyn Jean: What are you talking about?

Little CJ: Oh. Uh, never mind.

Carolyn Jean: Well, actually the article is sort of about that. It seems that women are aroused physiologically by a wider range of stimuli than men.

Little CJ: Like what?

Carolyn Jean: Well, in tests that measured subjective (reported) and objective (bodily) response, men were predictably aroused by photos of men and women having sex, women and women have sex, and a naked woman exercising.

Little CJ: Well hot diggity damn! There’s a shocker.

Carolyn Jean: But women were physically aroused when shown scenes of men with men, women with women and women with men. They were more aroused by an exercising woman than a chiseled-faced, strolling man, and even aroused by the sight of bonobo apes having sex.

Little CJ: Mmmm, bonobo apes.

Carolyn Jean: But they generally reported only being aroused by the men and women having sex. They would not tell all. Or, they didn’t realize.

Little CJ: Bonobos are hairy all over.

Carolyn Jean: There are a number of interesting perspectives on forced seduction, which of course people argue about a lot here on the blogs as far as storylines in romances. One researcher speculates on how physical arousal (as opposed to mental arousal) during forced seduction relates to evolutionary biology. It was totally fascinating.

Little CJ: I’m into Cornelius, from Planet of the Apes. I think his hands would be super leathery, like really hard gloves, don’t you think so? But really furry, too.

Carolyn Jean: You have been hanging on that wall too long.

Little CJ: Well over three decades, dude!

Carolyn Jean: So you like to say. Meredith Chivers, psychology professor at Queen’s University in Ontario, suggests that, while the actual experience of forced seduction isn’t wanted, such fantasies offer “a pure glimpse into desire” and suggest it comes out of a “wish to be beyond will, beyond thought, to be all in the midbrain.”

Little CJ: Midbrain. Whatever. I like the leather outfits that Cornelius wears. A lot. Do you know what I’m saying?

Carolyn Jean: Marta Meana, a professor of psychology at the University of Nevada at Las Vegas, suggests that women’s desire “is not relational, but narcissistic and that it’s 'dominated by the yearnings of “self-love,” by the wish to be the object of erotic admiration and sexual need.' Quoting from the article:
A symbolic scene ran through Meana’s talk of female lust: a woman pinned against an alley wall, being ravished. Here, in Meana’s vision, was an emblem of female heat. The ravisher is so overcome by a craving focused on this particular woman that he cannot contain himself; he transgresses societal codes in order to seize her, and she, feeling herself to be the unique object of his desire, is electrified by her own reactive charge and surrenders.
Little CJ: But it would be weird to kiss him, because he kind of has that snout. But you never know. It could be advantageous in certain ways.

Carolyn Jean: *shocked look*

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Little CJ interviews LB Gregg... & a POV winner!


Whoops! It took me long enough to declare a winner in my Palace of Varieties contest. Which is very un-Minnesotan of me. The winner, chosen numerically at random by my husband shouting from the other room is:
JENRE!!!

So Jenre, send your address to me here at carolyn7000 (at) earthlink.net!

Crazy Li'l CJ's Big Interview with LB Gregg!

Also, Crazy little CJ is interviewing author LB Gregg over at DIK Island today! Come and get in on the fun!!

Friday, January 16, 2009

Are you a literate wanker? Little CJ wants to know!!!

A guest post by Crazy Little CJ with POLL (see sidebar).

Carolyn Jean is reading two books right now: Marly's Choice by Lora Leigh (won from Barbara! Thanks Barbara!) and Black Ice by Anne Stuart.

She was reading Marly's Choice first, and she got about halfway through, but it was so hot, she just had to put it aside and trade it off with something of a cooler temperature.

Puulllllease.

She found the plot darkly compelling. Compellingly shocking. Poor feeble Carolyn Jean. She'll go back to it. She acts all pure, but enjoys being shocked and titillated. Anybody who reads this blog knows she is a great enjoyer of erotica.

The Marly's Choice plot is awesome if you ask me: It's like these three guys from a crazy family, and they basically raised this girl/foundling as a kind of sister/niece. She is now home from college, and one of them is in love with her and vice versa, but there's some secret she doesn't know. Carolyn Jean is beginning to suspect the three brothers are some sort of a package deal. Flight, hotel and rental car. All inclusive. And that, I believe, is only kink #1.

Nicola recently did a post on Lora Leigh books which both Carolyn Jean and I thought was great. Nicola had some plot and character complaints about Lora Leigh's military man books, but then this:
So why keep reading? Well, the same reason we all go back to that mythical bad boy: the sex.

I don’t just mean the explicit erotic scenes. Leigh also writes erotica and her love scenes are hot, explicit, x-rated. Although I haven’t read all of her books, I believe it’s safe to say that her trademark is writing relationships with a power struggle, physical and emotional.
Yay Nicola! Anyway, this is definitely true of Marly's Choice. It's all very hot and power-struggly. Which brings me to:

Exhibit 2: Carolyn Jean read the following in a piece in the Independent by author Rupert Smith (a.k.a. James Lear), who wrote Palace of Varieties, a rollickingly dirty book that she and Sayuri will soon be team reviewing. Smith notes:
Erotic fiction has a purpose, and it's not a very highbrow one. James Lear's novels are designed specifically as aids to masturbation: two good orgasms per chapter for younger readers, one for the over forties. Each encounter gives the reader a variation on the theme, keeping the interest fresh. The plot exists to carry the reader from one orgasm to the next.
and
The reason why dirty books remain in the shadows is very simple: the book trade is not comfortable with masturbation. Books in which children are abused, women murdered and men brutalised crowd the shelves of WH Smith. Books in which consenting adults enjoy each other for the healthy entertainment of literate wankers do not.
Most friends of The Thrillionth Page seem to read across all subgenres, from the tamest historical to some seriously smutty stuff. James Lear suggests we're masturbating every other chapter.

Poll at left!
Late at night, in her trash-addled mind reading her porn, Carolyn Jean frequently wonders about this. Is he right? Are all her little friends masturbating? TWO orgasms a chapter? Or is he more talking about men. I say, what better use of a google poll than this? Please, put her out of her misery! Oh, and "J" - feedburner will be disabled for this. So you can feel free to tell all!

Images (except little CJ) from wikimedia; poll allows more than one answer.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Where is CJ and Little CJ?

Little CJ and I are over at The Book Smugglers today talking about the best books of 2008 and making our predictions for the new year. Come visit! 

Tons of other cool stuff is going on in blogland, too. 

Jessica has an excellent post on Romance and the boundaries of self up at Dear Author.

And best of 2008 lists are popping up at:

Smugglivus at Book Smugglers you can find about 10 'best of books' lists here this week!  
Books I done read (top 'indifferent to' books)

I know other people are doing best of lists. If you are, let me know and I'll put you on!

As you may see from the images on today and yesterday's posts, I have sunk back into my photofunia.com addiction. Go try it. Endless fun. 

Monday, December 8, 2008

Holiday gift exchange #7 & the book little CJ is SO excited about!

The holiday gift exchange continues! Here every day. Look who's getting into the holiday spirit.

**The Windflower, by Tom and Sharon Curtis, is a beloved out-of-print old school romance making the rounds (sort of reviewed here) and Daughter of the Blood by Anne Bishop is book 1 of the famous dark fantasy/horror/love story (discussed here).


Little CJ sez:

Yeah. Nice cartoon, big CJ. We're all mighty impressed with your drawing skills.

Anyways, I know I'll probably get a lot of coal in my stocking this year, and some lame educational stuff and lectures on being a better girl, but who cares?

This is going to be the best Christmas anyways, because The Italian Gourmet Baby Food Baron's Ironically Pregnant Virgin Mistress is finally being released! It will be torrid, I just know it. Torrid torrid torrid!!

And Santa is doling it out early...starting on the 15th in FREE CHAPTERS. Why is Santa waiting until the 15th? I don't know. Step on it, old man. Maybe you need to whip Rudolf a little harder.

Here's the back cover blurb from The Italian Gourmet Baby Food Baron's Ironically Pregnant Virgin Mistress

He needed children for an advertising campaign. . .
All Cesar Machismo wants is to ensure the bambinos of the world experience the flavor explosion of his company’s newest baby-food, Thai Shrimp in Peanut Dressing. But when he goes to an orphanage looking for a new spokes-baby, he finds twins with eyes the color of pureed Cornish game hens. Mama Mia! He must take them home!

What he got was a ready-made family!
Content with her lot in life, Chastity Bliss slaves for her stepmother at the orphanage. This way she stays with her babies, though she can never acknowledge them. When Cesar adopts her twins, she follows as their nanny. What can she do? She has no choice, because though he doesn’t know it . . .

Cesar is their father!

* * *
Yessssss.  I can't wait! The blurb above is by the wonderful Lorelie Brown, and the cover was created by the ever-talented Bettie Sharpe!

Okay, the book is by eight authors instead of just one measly author, so you KNOW it HAS to be great. (Authors: Tumperkin, who masterminded the whole thing, plus big CJ, Ann Aguirre, Carrie Lofty, Bettie Sharpe, Meljean Brook, Kate Rothwell and Lorelie Brown). It'll be posted on each author's blog and in full at Bam's.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Conflicted on Windflower


Okay, my thinking has been so mixed on this book! I have been really busy to post, but also just so conflicted, I wasn’t sure what to say.
Almost as if I am of two minds…

Carolyn Jean: Let’s talk about the writing. The writing is technically better than most of what I read today in genres. Especially the descriptions. The imagery is just richer, and the authors are always finding fresh ways of saying things instead of resorting to clichés.

Crazy little CJ: Yeah, and toward the end, you were skipping huge chunks of that description. Admit it, you got bored! I know I did. I wanted more hot action.

Carolyn Jean: But whose fault is that? I think I said in a past post, I can’t help but think that if I’d read it as literature rather than romance, I wouldn’t have skipped description. I expected different things from it.

Crazy little CJ: It’s called the worst of both worlds.

Carolyn Jean: Maybe in how the description slowed things, but not at the level of the plot. This plot was way richer and more panoramic than the genre literature I’m used to, and that was an absolute improvement. I liked that there were more balls spinning, more moving parts in terms of cause and effect and hidden motivations, more complexity, and numerous loose ends tied up.

Crazy little CJ: Tied up implausibly.

Carolyn Jean: Maybe a few minor things were tied up implausibly, but to me, that doesn’t ruin the whole book. It was bigger and more ambitious, and I appreciated that. And the canvas was larger, taking us to numerous shores and making a minor aspect of the 1812 War (divisions in English opinion and their various plans and gambits vis a vis the Americans) a central part of the plot. I learned new things about history here, and I love learning new things in books as long as they’re well woven into the drama, which this stuff was.

Crazy little CJ: I happen to know you interrupted the reading of Caressed by Ice for this, and you were sort of eager to finish so you could get back to sexy Judd.

Carolyn Jean: But does that mean this is a worse book? Actually, I think this is the superior book. But yes, I looked forward to getting back to Caressed. Am I just a product of this generation of romance and subgenres? Just because Frank Sinatra doesn’t rock, does it mean Metallica is the better band?

Crazy Little CJ: Yes, excluding their new album, which sucks. Also, you’re forgetting how Ana brought up 19th century writers like Jane Austen and Emily Bronte. Do you think you would skip giant boring passages of description in Pride and Prejudice? No, because there aren't any.

Carolyn Jean: But she was talking more about heroine Merry’s lack of power and wherewithal, and the hero’s brutishness, and the scenes that headed toward forced seduction.

Crazy Little: Uh! I want to chop that Devon up with my little arms.

Carolyn Jean: I don’t have a specific problem with all that; these sorts of books belong to the world of fantasy and fairytales, not to the world of reality, and I’m a reader who can be fine with certain things in books (ultra-violent vigilante vampires, women shooting guys because they’re jerks, guys brutishly seducing conflicted virgins on pirate ships) that I would abhor in reality. So I enjoyed those scenes to an extent, though the power imbalance got old. I think the bottom line is, even though Merry changed and became braver, it seemed like there was little inward transformation of the relationship.

Crazy Little CJ: Yeah, she got braver, but her bravery would lead to her having to be rescued. It bugged me.

Carolyn Jean: Also, this book was more sophisticated in terms of human psychology and character, especially where the secondary characters are concerned. In fact, the character of Rand Morgan is one of my favorite ever characters I’ve ever encountered, secondary or primary.

Crazy Little: Whatev. He’s named after rum!

Carolyn Jean: How do you know rum isn’t named after him?

Crazy Little CJ: Because I looked it up on Wikipedia, Biyotch. Captain Morgan has been around since 1944.

Carolyn Jean: Is Biyotch even how you spell it?

Crazy Little CJ: Don't put up that photo, you look like a freak.

Carolyn Jean: It's too late to retake. I already sent off the book to Kmont, and you have to put up a photo. I was trying to express conflictedness.

Crazy Little CJ: I need some rum right now.

Carolyn Jean: Don't you dare! I have deadlines. I shouldn't even be blogging. Anyway, there were tons of great moments. I loved the pirate details. All their little rules, and drunken debauchery. And when Devon showed up in his piratey leather vest and coat with no shirt after he took part in whipping that guy for insubordination? And Merry is like, Yum, you are like a badass pirate.

Crazy Little CJ: That was actually me who said that.

Carolyn Jean: Also, being that I came to romance late, I was really enjoying this on a genre history level. This is where books we now love evolved from. Devon is really Judd’s grandfather in many ways. Plus, this is a book a lot of our buddies treasured 20 years ago. I feel like a giant hole in my reading knowledge has been filled in. I am so grateful to have read this book. It will stay with me a long time.

VERDICT: So conflicted.

Other thinking: Ana's now infamous review. MaryKate's meditations on old school. Kmont begins to mercilessly make fun of book here. (anybody else?)
Read about tour here.